My  wife  is  such  a lazy  Turk,
She  will  not do  a  bit  of  work;
She  says  she  isn't  such  a flat,
Hard  work  will  never  make her  fat.
But  in  the  morning  when  she  wakes,
Her  breakfast  up  stairs  then  she  takes
She  treats  herself  to  toast  and  shrub,
And  says  she's  joined  the  Lazy  Club.

When she takes it in her head,
She makes me lift her out of bed;
To say a word, I do not dare,
But place her in an easy chair.
To stir a peg it seems a crime;
Why, there she sits till supper time.
While I'm obliged to cook the grub,
Because she's joined the Lazy Club.

My eldest daughter's just as bad,
I really think she's lazy mad;
She seems to lazy now to talk,
And scarce seems half inclined to walk.
Her tongue is never free from scolds,
Her shoes are always full of holes,
Her dress is never free from mud,
In honor of the Lazy Club.

We keep a girl about sixteen
To mind the house and keep it clean,
But lawks, she's such a lazy elf,
I'm obliged to do it all myself,
And if I ask her then to stir,
She says I ought to wait on her,
And give the yard and kitchen a scrub
In honor of the Lazy Club.

We keep a very lazy dog,
Who lays around just like a log;
He seems too lazy to wag his tail,
And tries to imitate the snail,
Before the fire all in a heap,
Why, there he lies, goes fast asleep,
And lawks, he's such a lazy chub,
I think he's joined the Lazy Club.

And now I'm in a pretty mess,
Through their cursed laziness,
And now my debts I cannot pay,
In prison will be obliged to lay,
When I am there, the lazy elves,
They'll be obliged to help themselves
And then when they're in want of grub
They must get it from the Lazy Club.