Some of My Favorite "Antique" News Stories

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S. M. STOW has Lost a Horse, Vergennes, 1871
This one had me humming that familiar old tune all evening...

Surprise BENTON - REDFERN Wedding! 1901

RUMMEL Rescues DUFRESCH from an Icy Bath, New Orleans, 1912 Mr. D. must've had to do a lot of explaining...

Them's fightin' words!  "L-i-a-r" was the first four-letter word I ever learned, 'cause long before my tender ears were ever exposed to anything racier, I was very impressed by my daddy's stern warning about calling anyone a "liar." In this report that word gets somebody killed! 

GARRET Loses Still to Revenuers but Avoids Arrest, Giles County, 1879 WOODCOCK, FLIPPO

Kentucky Farmer Killed in Argument about... what?! 1880 WEBSTER, STEWART

A Barefoot Bride, 1900

Mr. FOREMAN's Many Friends, 1898

Cassius M. CLAY to Publish The True American, 1845.

Misadventures in the Outback, 1909

Donaldson House Liquor Should be Punishment Enough, MI, 1872.  A little editorializing with the crime report.

Thomas Crooks WILLIAMS ID'd as the Crook! 1862

Honor Thy Mother-in-law...Or Else!

Elopement Leads to Arrest, 1887

Please claim the $10 you lost in the road between Gallatin & Hendersonville... 1840 How's this for honesty?

Politician's Trip goes Awry, 1917 One wishes that a lot more politicians would end up like Mr. LARKIN did.

Got Tapeworm? Find out who did. Doctor lists satisfied tapeworm patients... by name.

A Shoe Thief's Misstep, 1867. Hans Blix should have had such investigative skills.

The Disappearance of Albertus BERRY, 1873 Why'd he take $300 with him when he'd just left home to take a bath?

D. B. RATHERS Seriously Injured in Pecan-Picking Accident, Raywood, 1910 The perils of early high-tech pecan harvest techniques..

Seeking Emma HOLMES, who left for Texas without her mother's consent, 1873 WINSTON, ROBERTSON, JUSTIS

Wild Hogs Get Fright at the PHILLIPS Home, Randolph Co., WV 1916 

Human Torch Stunt Misfires in Muskogee, 1913. Remember that movie, Jackass? If you try this at home, don't sue me.

MURRAY Will Discovered in Mattress, PA, 1916. Will likely encourage heirs to clean house thoroughly.

Questionable Human Trick, MA 1879 Somebody call David Letterman!

Strong Evidence: She's Wearing the Dress, 1872 

Edward HUGHES Offers Reward, NJ, 1853. Who scared off his girlfriend?

Mike DALTON Begins Early Career as "Self-Made Man," 1876. This is before criminals were held to be "just misunderstood" citizens.

Twister Throws ZIMMERMAN Mule for a Loop, 1913

Ye Olde English Catfight: Ann TAYLOR Assaults Margaret COOPER, 1858 "A desperate and dangerous character!"

Studies show: 99.9% of burglars favor gun control! GA, 1890.

Early Baseball Squabbles in Texas, 1913 Emory vs. Antiock

Trenton, NJ Comptroller Threatens to Resign Over Dead Dogs' Tails, 1892

CASTLEMAN'S Romance 1879, TN. An altered state leads to an altar-ed state.

Hang That Bad Boy! 1872, MI An Early Radical from that Wacky Green Party? Ralph Nader would be proud.

An Illinois Romance. And you thought that young ladies were so delicate in your great-great-grandmother's day. Think again!

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BAILEY Murder Solved in Fayette Co. After 15 Years, 1884 The deceased (the murder victim, that is) gets my nomination for a Darwin Award! Who would pick up and drink from a bottle in the road?

Jerome SHIELDS May Escape Hydrophobia With New Pasteur Treatment, 1905

A Mecklenburg Dog Tale, 1872 

British Look Down Noses at Californians, 1879 Those Californians are slow learners: all this could be written today!

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